Ask Fallon: My sister is being abducted by aliens

Ask Fallon, solving unreal problems for unreal people.

Fallon Carrington Colby is an Heiress, Hotel Manager and Interior Designer. She lives in Denver Colorado with her long suffering husband Jeff and their two dogs Misty and Jensen.

Dear Fallon

My husband and I recently threw a dinner party for friends and investors in our business. As with most of our dinner parties we invited my sister as she travels often and always has the most wonderful stories to tell to keep our guests entertained. However, right in the middle of dessert she got up from her chair, flung a glass of champagne all over Piers my husband’s tennis coach, and announced she is being abducted by aliens every Friday night and in her own words “beaming up to their spaceship since she was six years-old”. Now our friends and investors want nothing more to do with us and we are the laughing-stock of Bel Air. What do we do?

Fallon replies: As an alien abductee myself I can tell you that being abducted by aliens is no laughing matter. However, with the help of a good therapist I have come to terms with my little green friends and have been able to move on with my life. My advice to you is to forget those small-minded friends and investors, ignore your boring neighbours and concentrate on helping your sister and yourselves. Take your sister to Dr Eve Vaisseau-Spatial in Beverly Hills and tell her “Fallon” sent you. Dr Eve specialises in paranormal activity and alien abduction, and is an expert at getting her patients to face their fears head-on by writing about their experiences. In six months I guarantee your sister will have a best-selling novel on her hands and you and your husband will be hosting dinner parties in Bel Air once again.

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