Ask Fallon: Why do I always leave the Disco alone?

Ask Fallon, solving unreal problems for unreal people.

Fallon Carrington-Colby is an Heiress, Hotel Manager and Interior Designer. She lives in Denver Colorado with her long-suffering husband Jeff and their two dogs Misty and Jensen.

Dear Fallon

I am a thirty-five year old man looking to date again after finalising a relatively amicable divorce. My ex-wife Bunny and I used to love to go out dancing every Friday night so I have recently started to frequent Shapiro’s, a Discotheque in Manhattan where sophisticated people go to meet. I seem to have no problem meeting women. The sparks fly, the conversation flows, they laugh at all my jokes, then as we move to the dance floor and I show them my best moves, they tell me they have a headache or suddenly don’t feel well and have to go home. Fallon what am I doing wrong? Why do I always leave the Disco alone?

Fallon replies: Honey while I’m sure you have no problem meeting and conversing with women and they laugh at all your jokes, do you think that maybe your best moves on the dance floor could be the reason they suddenly feign a headache or illness, i.e. maybe your best dance moves aren’t so hot? Well I have one word for you “Alejandro”. Get yourself to Unity Dance Studios, right across the road from Shapiro’s, and book yourself into some dance classes. Alejandro will have you winning everyone over with your dance moves in just two weeks. They don’t call him the latin maestro in cuban heels for no reason and you know, in the words of Sister Sledge “he never leaves the Disco alone”, so why should you?

However before you shimmy off to the capable hands of Alejandro, I do want you leave you with another thought. You say you and your ex-wife Bunny used to love to go out dancing every Friday night. Now forgive me if I’m wrong as I don’t know the details of why you and Bunny parted in such amicable ways, however I’ve never known a woman to divorce her husband on the grounds of poor dance moves, so maybe all you really need is to find another Bunny who laughs at all your jokes and appreciates you both on and off the dance floor.

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