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Ask Fallon: Why do I always leave the Disco alone?

Ask Fallon, solving unreal problems for unreal people.

Fallon Carrington-Colby is an Heiress, Hotel Manager and Interior Designer. She lives in Denver Colorado with her long-suffering husband Jeff and their two dogs Misty and Jensen.

Dear Fallon

I am a thirty-five year old man looking to date again after finalising a relatively amicable divorce. My ex-wife Bunny and I used to love to go out dancing every Friday night so I have recently started to frequent Shapiro’s, a Discotheque in Manhattan where sophisticated people go to meet. I seem to have no problem meeting women. The sparks fly, the conversation flows, they laugh at all my jokes, then as we move to the dance floor and I show them my best moves, they tell me they have a headache or suddenly don’t feel well and have to go home. Fallon what am I doing wrong? Why do I always leave the Disco alone?

Fallon replies: Honey while I’m sure you have no problem meeting and conversing with women and they laugh at all your jokes, do you think that maybe your best moves on the dance floor could be the reason they suddenly feign a headache or illness, i.e. maybe your best dance moves aren’t so hot? Well I have one word for you “Alejandro”. Get yourself to Unity Dance Studios, right across the road from Shapiro’s, and book yourself into some dance classes. Alejandro will have you winning everyone over with your dance moves in just two weeks. They don’t call him the latin maestro in cuban heels for no reason and you know, in the words of Sister Sledge “he never leaves the Disco alone”, so why should you?

However before you shimmy off to the capable hands of Alejandro, I do want you leave you with another thought. You say you and your ex-wife Bunny used to love to go out dancing every Friday night. Now forgive me if I’m wrong as I don’t know the details of why you and Bunny parted in such amicable ways, however I’ve never known a woman to divorce her husband on the grounds of poor dance moves, so maybe all you really need is to find another Bunny who laughs at all your jokes and appreciates you both on and off the dance floor.

Shopping Cart: Tartan & Plaid

Clockwise from top right: Ruslan Baginskiy Embroidered Prince of Wales Checked Wool Cap; Ganni Cats-eye Acetate Sunglasses; Gucci G-Timeless Web-stripe Watch; Fendi Runaway Large Raffia-trimmed Woven Leather Tote; Mara Hoffman Plaid Mustard-print Tie-side Bikini Briefs; Burberry Fringed Checked Cashmere-twill Scarf; Mara Hoffman Plaid Mustard-print Halterneck Bikini Top; Burberry Leather-trimmed Checked Drill Cardholder; Sara Battaglia Checked Wool Shorts; Gucci Beetle Necklace; Dries Van Noten Checked Canvas Pumps; Burberry Beauty: Burberry Kisses Sheer Lipstick in Bright Pink No. 233; and Gucci Prince of Wales Checked Wool-blend Blazer.

Gucci Watch and Necklace; and Mara Hoffman Bikini Briefs and Top via: matchesfashion.com/

All other Shopping Cart items via: net-a-porter.com

A.P.C. Solveig Shoe

“There’s no place like home” whispered Astrid as she clicked the heels of her new pair of A.P.C. ruby Solveig shoes. She had listened to her date for hours talking only about himself, as though he didn’t think she had anything interesting or worth while to contribute to the conversation. “There’s no place like home” she whispered one more time, wishing she could teleport herself out of the restaurant and into a bar with a gin and tonic and her favourite indie rock band playing, far, far away.

Image via: @apc_paris on Instagram

Visit: apc.fr

Gucci Style by Mégal Grouchka for Grazia France

“Yowzah! said Maxine out loud as she flicked through the pages of Grazia France on her lunch break and spotted Gucci Spring / Summer 2019 styled to absolute perfection. “It’s like women’s tailoring with a disco accent, and who doesn’t love a bit of disco” she thought to herself, wondering if she could ever pull off such a sophisticated and sassy look before acknowledging that yes, she definitely could.

Image: Photograph by Sara Merz, Stylist Mégal Grouchka

Visit Sara Merz at: saramerz.ch and Mégal Grouchka @megal.g on Instagram

Visit: grazia.fr

Collage by Women: 50 Essential Contemporary Artists

Curated by Spanish collage artist Rebeka Elizegi, Collage by Women presents 50 women collage artists from around the globe, including Annegret Soltau, Rozenn Le Gall, Caro Mantke, Eva Eun-Sil Han, Eugenia Loli, Sarah Eisenlohr, Isabel Reitemeyer, Olivia Descampe or Linden Eller, and one of my favourites, Deborah Stevenson.

Collage by Women by Rebeka Elizegi, published by Promopress.

Visit Rebeka Elizegi at: rbkcollage.com

Follow Deborah Stevenson’s collage works on Instagram @deborahstevensonartist